Madison- A Year of Learning and Patience

Madison was not where I thought I would end up right out of college. In fact, I purposely avoided it in fear of being labeled "The kid who stayed in Wisconsin." However, when looking for work last summer, I applied for AmeriCorps gigs across America. For months I worried because I wasn't landing any interviews. So I expanded my search. Instead of primarily looking at Chicago, NYC, DC, Seattle, and San Francisco, I applied for Minneapolis, other larger cities in states I had never been to and *cringe* Milwaukee and Madison. It's not that I have anything against Wisconsin. I really don't. It was an awesome place for me- Stevens Point was one of the best decisions of my life thus far and I really grew as a singer, actress, and person here. Nice people. Amazing beer. Met some awesome people and even got a fiance out of the deal. But I knew all along that Wisconsin wasn't where I wanted to spend my life. I also feared being seen as a failure because I didn't go to New York right away.

Anyway- Once I expanded my search, interview requests started coming in. Madison was my first interview and I was offered the job the next day. I accepted and turned down all my other interviews.

It ended up being a good thing, overall. I was close enough to Ben so that we could see each other every couple of weeks. We got extremely close as I leaned on him for emotional support whenever I was down (which was a lot). He helped me through it all and I paid him back in love. October-March I would often end up in tears on the phone. Often times about money, often times about missing Ben or being lonely in general, and often times because I didn't feel fulfilled as an artist.

Occasionally, however, it seemed I would cry for no reason at all. And then I would feel nothing. I am almost positive I was in a depressive state of mind. Luckily, Ben was patient and I am an eternally optimistic person. So we both knew this state of mind would pass.

I enjoyed my AmeriCorps term and loved being a part of these students' lives. I love the feeling on having an impact on the life of another person (no matter how small the impact) and since I have the personality age of an 8 year old, it was a good fit.

I got into my first post college/post summerstock show. Four Season's cast me in their production of "She Loves Me" as a chorus member. It was a lot of fun, artistically satisfying and introduced me to some of the people in the Madison theatre world that I needed to know. I also got the chance to perform at The Bartell which was an amazing space to be able to perform in.

The holidays were spent with Ben's family and after the new year he and I took a trip to Colorado to spend time with me family. I accepted a job with Victoria's Secret and loved how busy it made me. I love a fast paced atmosphere.

February 23rd I got engaged on a cold Saturday morning surrounded by mounds of snow with flurries floating around us. From here, things started looking up. Slowly but surely.

I started wedding plans. Ben and I have started having a lot of fun with it. Vintage Fall Fun in Door County. It shall be amazing! We celebrated our 2 year anniversary in May and he gave me an amazing birthday experience kayaking and getting fancy tea.

I auditioned again. I got into Music Theatre of Madison's "Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson." I met a local playwright who wanted me to be a part of a staged reading. I did the reading and it was a lot of fun! Then rehearsals for Bloody Bloody started. I really pushed myself to be more outgoing and talkative. It served me well because the cast was amazingly kind, fun, and supportive of one another. I haven't been this proud of a role/show/cast since "Playboy of the Western World" at UWSP. I can't gush about this experience enough. So fulfilling and wonderful.

Between engaged fun and Bloody Bloody fun, I felt myself getting back to ME. More enthusiasm, more energy. The summer brought me back to life and gave me the confidence boost I needed before heading to Chicago.

Madison taught me a lot about being lonely. It taught me a lot about life after college. It taught me to be my own entrepreneur. It taught me to seek out what makes me happy and fulfilled. It taught me to take better care of myself. It taught me a lot. But it is time to take what I learned and apply it to my future.

Excited for Chicago. And excited for more artistic endeavors. And excited for another year with Ben. The future looks bright, just have to keep my eyes on the prize.