Madison- A Year of Learning and Patience

Madison was not where I thought I would end up right out of college. In fact, I purposely avoided it in fear of being labeled "The kid who stayed in Wisconsin." However, when looking for work last summer, I applied for AmeriCorps gigs across America. For months I worried because I wasn't landing any interviews. So I expanded my search. Instead of primarily looking at Chicago, NYC, DC, Seattle, and San Francisco, I applied for Minneapolis, other larger cities in states I had never been to and *cringe* Milwaukee and Madison. It's not that I have anything against Wisconsin. I really don't. It was an awesome place for me- Stevens Point was one of the best decisions of my life thus far and I really grew as a singer, actress, and person here. Nice people. Amazing beer. Met some awesome people and even got a fiance out of the deal. But I knew all along that Wisconsin wasn't where I wanted to spend my life. I also feared being seen as a failure because I didn't go to New York right away.

Anyway- Once I expanded my search, interview requests started coming in. Madison was my first interview and I was offered the job the next day. I accepted and turned down all my other interviews.

It ended up being a good thing, overall. I was close enough to Ben so that we could see each other every couple of weeks. We got extremely close as I leaned on him for emotional support whenever I was down (which was a lot). He helped me through it all and I paid him back in love. October-March I would often end up in tears on the phone. Often times about money, often times about missing Ben or being lonely in general, and often times because I didn't feel fulfilled as an artist.

Occasionally, however, it seemed I would cry for no reason at all. And then I would feel nothing. I am almost positive I was in a depressive state of mind. Luckily, Ben was patient and I am an eternally optimistic person. So we both knew this state of mind would pass.

I enjoyed my AmeriCorps term and loved being a part of these students' lives. I love the feeling on having an impact on the life of another person (no matter how small the impact) and since I have the personality age of an 8 year old, it was a good fit.

I got into my first post college/post summerstock show. Four Season's cast me in their production of "She Loves Me" as a chorus member. It was a lot of fun, artistically satisfying and introduced me to some of the people in the Madison theatre world that I needed to know. I also got the chance to perform at The Bartell which was an amazing space to be able to perform in.

The holidays were spent with Ben's family and after the new year he and I took a trip to Colorado to spend time with me family. I accepted a job with Victoria's Secret and loved how busy it made me. I love a fast paced atmosphere.

February 23rd I got engaged on a cold Saturday morning surrounded by mounds of snow with flurries floating around us. From here, things started looking up. Slowly but surely.

I started wedding plans. Ben and I have started having a lot of fun with it. Vintage Fall Fun in Door County. It shall be amazing! We celebrated our 2 year anniversary in May and he gave me an amazing birthday experience kayaking and getting fancy tea.

I auditioned again. I got into Music Theatre of Madison's "Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson." I met a local playwright who wanted me to be a part of a staged reading. I did the reading and it was a lot of fun! Then rehearsals for Bloody Bloody started. I really pushed myself to be more outgoing and talkative. It served me well because the cast was amazingly kind, fun, and supportive of one another. I haven't been this proud of a role/show/cast since "Playboy of the Western World" at UWSP. I can't gush about this experience enough. So fulfilling and wonderful.

Between engaged fun and Bloody Bloody fun, I felt myself getting back to ME. More enthusiasm, more energy. The summer brought me back to life and gave me the confidence boost I needed before heading to Chicago.

Madison taught me a lot about being lonely. It taught me a lot about life after college. It taught me to be my own entrepreneur. It taught me to seek out what makes me happy and fulfilled. It taught me to take better care of myself. It taught me a lot. But it is time to take what I learned and apply it to my future.

Excited for Chicago. And excited for more artistic endeavors. And excited for another year with Ben. The future looks bright, just have to keep my eyes on the prize.

I really think that this might work...

After a very successful run including our extended weekend, Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson came to a close last weekend. I was so thankful for a extra weekend of it. Not only did it keep me going and fulfilled my need (yes, need) to be onstage, it also gave me more time to be with all of these wonderful artists I met through this process. So much fun! I still haven't REALLY processed that it's over, mostly because I have been so busy since we closed. Here is a recap of our run!

Performances for BBAJ were always wild because it is one of those shows where the audience is CRUCIAL to the show. We fed off of their energy, laughter, shock, etc. BBAJ is also one of those shows where not every audience will laugh in the same places. Some nights there would be uproarious laughter in one spot and then the next night, nothing. You just never knew. It made doing the show every night fresh and exhilarating. The first weekend was a success as was the second weekend. Such a success that we got extended. I got to make out covered in chocolate blood every night. I got to live out my rock'n'roll fantasies by belting out into a microphone. I got to be the loving, but paranoid country wife of the crazed Andrew Jackson. I got to meet AMAZING people who will (hopefully) continue to be my friends and collaborators in the future. I got to be a part of the little show that could. A really random show that not a lot of Madison people had ever heard of. A bizarre, weird, but passionate piece of theatre that could have easily gone wrong, but instead- went SO SO right. And, I believe, not only inspired those of us involved, but also sparked interest of Madison theatre-goers and NON theatre-goers alike. My parents were in the audience on our Thursday performance. We had a Tony Award winner in the audience on our second Friday. A bunch of my friends came on various performances. It was just a plain old good time and I am ridiculously proud to have been a part of it. I am not allowing myself to listen to the recording for awhile because I know it will make me miss it and wish to be back at The Bartell performing. But I thank God I had this opportunity. It really filled me with joy and passion. I can't say enough good things about my experience with Music Theatre of Madison and our production of BBAJ.

When my parents came into town, we spent the day looking at wedding gowns for the first time. We ended up at this cute little boutique where a nice lady let me try on dress after dress. It was so much fun! The only problem- what to choose? Or should I keep looking? What do I want? The four dresses that I really liked are all COMPLETELY different from one another. This is what happens when you are indecisive. It was wonderful to see my parents and I wish I could have spent more time with them.

Ben came to what was supposed to be our final performance. I just love spending time with him. He makes me instantly happy. How does he have such superpowers?

Now, I am all moved out of my Madison house and am couch surfing for the work week until my last day on Friday. Then, I will spend a few days in Point with Ben before moving to Chicago with Cheyanne (an old buddy from my Casper College days) and Matt (a new friend I found via Madison theatre).

Excited AND scared.

Where does the time go?

"Where does the time go?"- a simple, hilarious line from Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson, but one that has struck a chord with me recently. So much has happened in the last month. It truly is insane. But I am happier because of it. Here's the lowdown-

WORK WORK WORK!

Up until this week, I have been putting in as many hours as I possibly can at Victoria's Secret. You know- to make as much as I possibly can before moving. I enjoy it, though! Each day brings new challenges, but I am finding my way through them all. I really hope transferring works out for me. Keep yo' fingers crossed, ya'll!

When I am not working at Victoria Secret, I am usually either-

A. Attempting to put in more hours with AmeriCorps to finish up. (Key word- ATTEMPTING).

B. Enjoying a few hours off here or there with coffee, working out, reading, and/or going to a park/lake.

C. Attempting to see/hang out with friends both old and new in the Madison/Wisconsin area. (Again- Key word is ATTEMPTING)

D. Rehearsing for Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson

E. Attempting to make my moving arrangements

F. Attempting to make wedding arrangements

G. Hanging out with Ben


Basically- ALL OF THE THINGS!

Went to Ben's 10 year high school reunion. Which was weird, but good. Met a lot of people. Listened to many stories. But, I did pretty well. I usually get terrible pains of social anxiety at gatherings such as these. It really depends on my mood as well as the vibes I get from my surroundings and the other people around me. But, all things considered, I was relatively social anxiety free. Eventually, Ben and I decided to call it an early night and decided to rent a movie to end our night. It was a lovely weekend in Sturgeon Bay.

Rehearsals for BBAJ have definitely been one of the highlights of my summer. I really enjoy everyone in the cast and consider it such a blessing to be a part of the show. Again- I really pushed myself to be as social as possible and to really branch out, letting my personality show quicker than I normally would. I made it a point to sit somewhere different every night and try to talk to/ get to know a different cast member or two every night. This strategy worked pretty well and I feel at ease with the cast. Every day, I look forward to rehearsal and every night I come home with a post-rehearsal high and a happy heart. Happy to be doing what I love.We are now in the middle of tech week and OPEN THIS FRIDAY!!!! AH! The MOST excited!

I went up to Point last week to participate in a master class for an interview candidate for the head of the musical theatre program there. It was refreshing to be back in that atmosphere, even for just a few hours. It was enjoyable for me and I really challenged myself to do songs that were in a difficult range. It was also nice to spend a little time with Ben.

I turned 25 last weekend. I enjoyed a nice, relaxed weekend with Ben. On Saturday, Ben arrived from Stevens Point. We ate lunch, walked around the zoo for a little bit, then went KAYAKING! I had been looking forward to kayaking all summer and I hope to go one or two more times before leaving Madison. So relaxing and SO MUCH FUN! After that, we walked around some shops on Monroe Street before heading home for a little while. Ben took a nap while I sent some emails. Then we ran a few errands before having a yummy birthday dinner at Red Lobster. The next day, we got coffee and then created a prop for BBAJ. Ben is an artist, so I volunteered his artistic abilities for this silly, difficult prop. It was fun for me to watch him in artist-mode. Next, it was lunch and walking around the mall whee Ben got me my birthday gift- A tea waterbottle and fancy tea leaves from Tea-Vana. I had a little break down at how expensive it was, but Ben assured me that he wanted to treat me for my birthday. He is too sweet sometimes.

Welp- that's about it for now! More to come in the next coming weeks. If you are in the Madison/Wisconsin area- you should totally see Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson! It shall be EPIC!

Officially Summer

It is officially summer, you guys! And I am officially busy!

The beginning of June flew by like nobody's business. The final weeks of school at Hawthorne were relatively quiet and I just kept chugging along- revising the volunteer orientation materials as well as making a tip sheet for future AmeriCorps members. School ended yesterday and everybody (including teachers and the principal) were kicked out as of 3:00 pm on the last day of school so they could begin renovations (FYI- we still had kids that day and school lets out at 2:30....um...impossible, much?). Insanity! So now, I am working from the MSCR main location until summer programming begins and I can log in hours by volunteering at those sites. I still need to make up quite a few hours, but....I will get there!

Victoria Secret kept being fun and I am officially Bra Certified! This means that I can work in the Fitting Rooms and actually help women find their perfect size and bras that work best for their shape/needs. It is actually really fun. I've gotten a lot of pregnant women in my first few days in the Fitting Rooms and I am sure I will encounter lots of other fascinating situations. I knew that as an actor I would need experience in Retail/Food Industry for between project jobs. Well- I really hit the jackpot for this being my first retail job. Victoria Secret has been an AMAZING place to work so far. I really do love it. And thank God for that!

Ben and I have continued wedding planning. We've settled on a venue for ceremony/reception and we've asked 7 out of 10 people to be in our wedding party. More detailed updates on this to come soon on my Wedding Planning Blog! Here: http://adventurepartnersinlove.blogspot.com/

Two weekends ago, Ben and I traveled down to Chicago to celebrate his mom's birthday. Cynthia, her fiance Larry, Maggie, Ben and I spent Saturday down by Navy Pier enjoying the weather and Bubba Gump's Shrimp Co. We then went to Grant Park for Chicago Blues Festival. The event was free and SO MUCH FUN! Some really great music going on. I also got the chance to see my friend Amber down there and talk about theatre and moving to Chicago and stuff like that. The next day, we toured Cynthia and Larry's townhouse that they are closing on, had a yummy brunch, and went for a walk around an outdoor mall. Cynthia purchased our first wedding items: headbands for the flower girls! They are pretty adorable.

I have occupied the rest of my time (you know, when I'm not working two jobs) with theatrical endeavors. A group of friends and I are going to put on a staged reading that my friend wrote. We rehearse this week and perform on Thursday. I'm excited! It is a stage adaptation of Chekhov's short story "The Grasshopper." I also started rehearsing for "Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson" on Sunday. I couldn't be more excited! Just two rehearsals in and I can already tell what a blast this show will be. Maybe I am just artistically frustrated from months of boredom, I dunno. But, I really think it is just the fact that this will be an AWESOME show. So far, we've only done Rachel/Andrew stuff, but next week we start working with the rest of the cast. Excited to meet them and work with them all.

I also got to have dinner with an old friend of mine from Casper. He is originally from Wisconsin and moved back here after his time in Casper. Well- we have been in the same state for, like, 4 years and have never seen each other. Finally, I had to make it happen. Ryan and I plan to have more sushi dates this summer. :) Hooray for friends!

Ben update: He is enjoying his new job at Menards. I think it has been a lot less stressful for him, but still challenging as he needs to learn about all the products and such. He enjoys playing softball on Tuesdays and Sundays and acting as Assistant Coach for the team. He's still DJing on the side. At the end of the month, Ben will have his 10-year High School Reunion! Um....weird! But I shall go along and be by his side as his fiancee-lady.

Trying not to rush the summer, but still getting antsy for my move come August. Cheyanne and I have had many-a skype session and I am just ready to begin a new chapter. However, I must remember to cherish this time and this place of my life. I am sure I will once "Bloody" rehearsals really get going. Lots of excitement in these parts!

The "Calm" Before The Storm

The last few weeks have been busy, but I know that right now is calm compared to what my summer is going to look like. In fact, just today things are looking a lot busier for the summer.

I went to Point to see "The Great Gatsby" with Ben one night. It was a fun little date night. Since then, I have listened to the soundtrack on Spotify about a dozen times. It was a really good movie. I would definitely recommend it.

Lots of work. Sometimes bad days, sometimes good days. It just depends. Same old, same old.

Ben started a new job with Menards! I am probably waaaaay more excited than Ben is about it. But I am just so happy about it! The company has a lot more in terms of advancement than his old job, plus transfer opportunities into Chicago. I finally feel like plans to make the Chicago transition are coming into place for the both of us. I couldn't be more excited about it. Plus, I am proud of Ben for taking these career steps. It's all good!

I have been working out a lot more than before. Doing a lot of abs, cardio, and some running/jogging. I want to do the color run in Milwaukee in August. And I don't want to be walking most of the way. Not even half of the way. Not even a third of the way! Hopefully I will be able to get that endurance.

I have been having crazy skin problems lately. Lots of itchy, red, dry, rash-like spots. I am not sure what is causing this and it is really weird-ing me out. Sorry if this is TMI. I like to share. :)

Ben and I went to Door County last Tuesday and had a lovely day looking at possible wedding venues. It was fun, relaxed, and the weather behaved for us (even though we thought it was going to rain all day, it only rained for about 10 minutes in mid-afternoon). I wished that day could have lasted forever. Hopefully, that means it will be the same on our wedding day. More details on this trip to be posted on my wedding blog sometime in the nearish future.

When I got back into Madison, I checked my email to find even MORE opportunities for my summer including modeling and acting. I know I will say "yes" to the acting opportunities, but I will need to figure out a way to fit some modeling in, hopefully. The extra $$ would be helpful. But, then again- more responsibility and lots of scheduling hoops to jump through. I dunno.

Putting things into place to go full time with Victoria Secret this summer. It will be a little bit of a pay cut because I will no longer have income from AmeriCorps. I am honestly contemplating doing some couch surfing in July so I don't have to pay rent for that month. It certainly would be nice. Because I certainly can't get another part time job, because rehearsal will be my part time job. :)

Having car issues, which is not good. I am sosososososo ready to be DONE with having a car. I know Ben is going to want his car in Chicago. And that will be fine- to have one car between the two of us. But I absolutely CANNOT have a car on my own in Chicago. Too much money between parking, maintenance, and getting it registered and whatnot. Number 1- I can't afford it. Number 2- I am just annoyed with having to have a car. I enjoy my occasional drives and such, but...it will be nice to not have to worry about it anymore.

Not too much else going on. Life is kind of boring at the moment. But promises of excitement hang in the air.

Warm and Sunny Days!!!

Warm and sunny days are finally here to stay! It was a terrible spring, but now that it is warm...it is REALLY warm. Not complaining here, I love the warm weather.

The rest of April was relatively easy and fun. Lots of wedding talk, lots of working. My part time job at Victoria Secret is going REALLY well. And, again, no one is as surprised as I am about that. I am really starting to get into my groove, learning more about the business and about bra technology, and enjoying the social aspect of it. My hard work is paying off too! I am going to get more hours over the summer and am starting bra certification this week! I also got to do the Beauty Meeting, which only select associates got to go to. I am enjoying all the learning going on and I believe that I am putting myself in a good spot for rehire in Chicago come August. Like any job, there are the negatives as well. But I am really having fun and that is important. Plus, it will mean I will have a job pretty much right away when I move. That is important.

I am also making some plans to hopefully do a play reading and possibly even a short film festival over the summer in addition to my being in Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson. We'll see, but the plans and the people to make it happen are there.

More wedding talk and planning has happened. We settled on our date: September 20, 2014. We have started asking people to be in our wedding party. I have contacted 4/5 of my bridesmaids and my flower girls and Ben has contacted 2/5 of his groomsmen. We'll get around to the remaining people eventually. It's a timing thing more than anything else. It's fun, though! I have been itching to ask people to be part of the wedding party for weeks. So I am happy to finally be able to do so.

Ben and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary on May 2nd. He came down this weekend for us to spend time together. And though I had to work 7 hours on Saturday and then another 4 on Sunday, we still found time to do some fun things to celebrate. We exchanged gifts and went to a fun little pizza place near my house in Madison that has vintage arcade games that we enjoyed playing. (Vintage meaning ORIGINAL Pacman, Donkey Kong, DigDug, Mario....good stuff!) Ben also just randomly showed up at the mall during my shift later that day and I just happened to be able to go on my 30 minute break at that time. So we had dinner in the food court together during my break. It was a nice coincidence. When I got home, we went to The Malthouse. We had been wanting to go there since I moved to Madison because we heard they had a huge beer selection. We went, tried new things, had some good chats together...it was nice. I felt really quite perfect just being there with him in the moment. Happiness. The next day, we just relaxed around my house before I had to go to work and Ben had to go back to Point. He is playing on a softball team and it was their first game. They won! Anyway- it was a nice weekend, indeed.

Ben's mom, Cynthia, and her boyfriend Larry got engaged about 2 weeks ago, too. Happiness and excitement abounds! They also just closed on a condo in Chicago, so that's also awesome! Ben has some exciting job news, but I am going to wait to explain about it for awhile. But, let's just say, I am SO SO excited!

Now, I am just enjoying the beautiful weather and try to get out as much as I possibly can! Summer is my season!

In other events: I need to work out. Now that it is nice, this is GOING TO HAPPEN! I can't wait to get to Chicago. Seriously, I get more and more excited every day. And, as always, student loans suck, but I have paid more than my minimum payment every time. So, hopefully when I am poor in Chicago, my payment will at least be a little less.

Sickness and Auditions= Spring???

Spring? Is that you?

Yesterday was the first day that I really REALLY feel like it was spring. The sun was out, I only needed a light sweater to walk outside, and I genuinely thought "today is a beautiful day." Too bad Mother Nature's mood swings has got me sick again. At least- that is what I think is causing all of this. 

This is the fourth time since the beginning of February that I feel sick. The first time was the worst- doctor's appointments, staying home from work, bruising of muscles around my ribs from all the coughing. It was terrible. After some anti-biotics, I finally started to feel like myself. And then, about 2 weeks later I began to feel icky again. This time, not quite as bad. But still enough to make me sluggish and have trouble eating and sleeping. About 2 weeks after recovering from that, I started to feel sick AGAIN! A little bit tamer than the two times prior, probably because I decided to "nip it in the bud" by making sure I took Nyquil every night and Dayquil everyday. This third round only lasted a few days. And then I started to feel better. And it lasted for longer than 2 weeks this time. And I thought I was in the clear. 

And then Saturday night came. I spent the evening relaxing after work and preparing for an audition I had the next day. I got my music ready, I got my resume ready, I practiced, everything felt good. I went to sleep that night and woke up in the middle of the night. My mouth was dry and my throat was sore. I thought maybe I had just worked my voice too much and it was retaliating against me. But when I woke up and saw it was snowing outside and hours later I still felt like sickness was going to overcome me soon, I knew I was in for round 4. And I am pretty sure I can blame it on Mother Nature's mood swings. I went to work at VS for a few hours and then jotted over to auditions/callbacks.

So, I was nervous for my audition because of this little tinge of sick I had, but luckily my voice held out for me. That's what good training does- makes your voice strong so that it will come through for you! And luckily, I didn't have too many nervous jitters. Sometimes, I get really really nervous and I begin to shake during auditions. But this time, I just felt confident and felt "in the moment." It was good. Really good. It was the shortest audition/callback/casting of my LIFE! My audition/callback lasted less than an hour (this is INCLUDING other people's callbacks as well). And then an hour later, I got the call that I was cast. I have to hand it to Music Theatre of Madison. They don't mess around! And I appreciate it! So this summer, I will be playing Rachel in "Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson."

I am excited to be in a show again, but I am even MORE excited that it is a rock musical. Also- I am excited that it is a substantial role where I really get to sing the music in the show. I didn't get to be in RENT when they did it at Point and I played an adult in Spring Awakening, so I didn't really get to sing any of that awesome angsty stuff. This time around, I get to sing, I get to dance, I get a juicy and interesting role...it's gonna be good.

In other news- I got my taxes done, made sure Ben got his done, and have been working a lot. I really hope that the work pays off and puts me in a good situation come moving time.