Life In The Fast Lane: Part 2- The Engagement Story

The only people reading this are people who already know I am engaged, pretty sure. But many of you might not know exactly how it happened. Here is the story:

Ben and I had been talking about it a lot. We first started chatting about it when he visited Brownville over the summer for my birthday. Some people might think I ended up in Madison just to be closer to Ben. That, actually, is quite untrue. I was applying for almost any AmeriCorps job that I felt I was qualified for that was in a bigger city. Twin Cities, Chicago, Milwaukee, Spokane, Phoenix, Providence...I mean...ALL OVER THE COUNTRY! In fact, I had held off on applying to Madison and Milwaukee for a long time because I didn't want to be "stuck" in Wisconsin. However, my very first interview was with this position in Madison. I interviewed on my birthday, with Ben only a few feet away from me. When I was offered the job the next day, the answer seemed clear- YES! Of course, after accepting I got offered many, many other interviews. But my decision was made. Who knows- I could have turned down this job and then not have been offered any of those other positions. As much as I love my parents, I was not so keen on the idea of going home for a few months to a year. I really believe I was meant to come here. Not to really advance my career (obviously). More to challenge me. More to help give me time to get onto my own adult feet before heading to a bigger, more challenging city. But most of all- to help keep me close to Ben- someone who has been nothing but supportive, patient, and loving of me since the moment I met him.

So- we first talked about it in July. When I returned from Nebraska and moved to Madison, we continued talking about it...more and more and MORE. We didn't tell many people. We wanted to keep it pretty private until we really knew it would happen. There was so much to discuss and do before actually making the big decision. I showed him a few rings, we discussed a rough estimate of wedding dates and places, and we made the official decision of the place to start our lives together- Chicago. But through it all, I think we learned how much we really rely on each other for support. Even though we are two hours apart, we still talk multiple times a day. Being together feels right, being apart feels wrong. So- we had our answer. We just needed to make it happen.

Thus the trip to Colorado. Not only was it fun, because Ben had never been to Colorado before and it was awesome to see him interact with my family for a longer period of time than before, but it was also important because it meant that Ben could feel more comfortable talking to my parents when the marriage question came up.

Now- I must give a disclaimer here: I was NOT expecting a proposal. Not one bit. I thought May or June. Did not at all think it would be as soon as February. I made it very clear that I did not want a Valentine's Day proposal. And it wasn't. As I mentioned in the last blog, Valentine's Day was pretty low key. However, Ben had already ordered the ring at the beginning of the month. Sneaky, sneaky. And a few nights before I came up to Point, he called my parents for their blessing. Again- sneaky, sneaky. I really had no clue.

So, I went up to Point. I had a lot of work still- Culture Night was coming up on Tuesday and I still needed to do this, do that, do lots of things! I was hoping to relax a bit, but still get work done. Saturday morning, Ben and I woke up. We had already decided that we would spend at least part of the day bumming around downtown Stevens Point. So- while I showered, Ben went out to get donuts for breakfast. He was gone an awfully long time, considering the donut place is only about 5 minutes away from his apartment. But he insisted that it was because the line was long. I didn't think too much of it. (He told me later that the ring had just come in that morning and he went to the Post Office to pick it up! Had it not come in- He wouldn't have done it that weekend.) When he returned, we had donuts and I continued getting ready. He was very hyper. I just thought he was excited to spend time with me or something. Or maybe the coffee was getting to him. He even sat in the bathroom and watched me put on my make up. Finally- we were out.

In the car, I started listing off where I needed to go and what I needed to do before we went downtown. Ben said that we had to do something else first. That threw me for a loop. What could we possibly need to do? I asked him, and he said it was a secret. At that point, I started figuring out that something was up. He took my hand, as we drove in almost complete silence. We stopped in front of Congress Club- where we had our first impromtu date. Ben gave a little speech about how he just couldn't wait to have a date with me and that's why he had asked me to meet him there instead of waiting a few more days for our actual scheduled date. He recounted how he sang possibly the worst first date karaoke song ever because he wanted to impress me with his voice. This is the song he sang: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSI-Wk00rVw   He sounded good, but the lyrics kind of terrified me at the time. He recounted all the things he really liked about me and learned about me. We kissed and kept driving.

Now, I was pretty sure this was a proposal, but wasn't completely positive yet. Maybe he is just feeling really romantic this morning? I wasn't sure, but I stayed pretty quiet and calm the whole way through. We ended up in downtown Stevens Point. Ben pointed out the little gyros restaurant where we had our actual first date and how I wanted to sit on the floor and he obliged even though he was extremely uncomfortable the whole time. He pointed out the bus stop and remembered the night he first hung out with me and my friends and how I laid my head on his shoulder on the bus ride back to campus. He pointed out The Sugar Bar- which is where we met. He remembered how we had talked and then I left. And how Lexa came back and gave him my number because I was too shy to ask for his, or give it to him myself. We then went to the park next to the river walk along the Wisconsin river. He parked and said "Okay- we have to get out now." So, we got out of the car. It was pretty cold, lightly snowing. We trudged through at least a foot high of snow to a spot relatively close to where a picnic table is during the Spring/Summer. Ben asked me to remember a few nights before I left for Brownville last May. We took a walk to this spot one night and chatted under the stars. We were both sad that I would be so far away and we had no idea what the future held for us at that point. There was an awkward pause in our conversation. We just looked at each other. I was trying to figure out how he was feeling- was he in a lot of pain? was he going to break up with me? He thought I thought he was going to do something...something like propose to me. So he quickly said "Don't worry- I'm not gonna propose to you or anything." I was taken aback- I didn't think that at all. We had only been together a year! We had never even talked about marriage. Why would I think he was going to propose?

Well, he told that story and when he got to the part where he said "Don't worry- I'm not gonna propose to you or anything." He then added, "But, this time- I am." And he got down on one knee, pulled out the ring, and with tears in his eyes, asked me to marry him. I took a deep breath and took a look around, just so I would always remember the moment. And I said "Yes. Always." and I bent down to kiss him. He put the ring on my finger. And we kissed. In the snow, while it was lightly snowing around us. Two dreams come true: A kiss in the snow AND my true love.

The inspiration from this proposal came from The Office- when Michael proposes to Holly. Obviously, it's not exactly like this. No candles or sprinklers. But the basic concept (taking me to special places and explaining their significance) is the same. Ben and I love the office and believe that we are a lot like Michael and Holly. So it was fitting.

Keep your eyes out for Part THREEEEEEEEEE of this story: Life In The Fast Lane: Part 3- Beyond. It will include details about the ring, the wedding plans (such as they are right now), my new job at Victoria's Secret, and more!

Life in the Fast Lane: Part 1- Colorado and Craziness

Life since the new year has been slow and fast all at the same time. It is amazing- my concept of time. Ben always makes fun of me. I legitimately think that 1 month is a long time; however, I am constantly planning months in advance and I get uncomfortable when I don't have a plan for where I am going next. I lovingly blame this on my father who constantly asked me what my plans were while I was growing up. Or if I told him what my hopes were, he'd say "sounds like a plan!" So anyway...I feel like a month is a long time. Probably because I am in a long distance relationship. Also, probably because I am constantly living from big moment to big moment. So when one big moment is done, I am waiting in constant anticipation for the next big moment. Usually, I have one or two big moments a month. That means that those 2 or so weeks of down time in between are excruciating to me. I don't do down time well. I feel lazy. I much prefer to be busy and stressed than not busy and stressed (note- I am almost always stressed about something). Yet, whenever I start a new month, I'm like "WOW! It's already March? That month just flew by!" Anyway- lesson is that my concept of time is warped.

So I haven't blogged since January. And I am angry at myself because SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED in the last few months and I feel like I won't be able to recall each moment as detailed as I would have had I blogged about it sooner. Oh well. The memories will live on in my mind and heart.

Colorado Trip- Ben and I took our first BIG TRIP together in January. We've gone on a few, fun and short trips before: Visiting Door County (Where Ben grew up), A trip to Green Bay for a friend's wedding, and Ben took a trip to Nebraska over the summer to visit me at Brownville where we also explored around Omaha. Anyway, this time...the trip was further, longer, and more elaborate. We had to book plane tickets, drive down to Chicago, leave the car with Ben's mom (who lives in Chicago), have her drive us to the airport, get through ticketing, security, etc, deal with plane people, get picked up by my dad...yeah...this was bigger than anything we had ever done together. But what we learned is that we were good at it! Good at being able to plan this together. Plus, we had a TON of fun traveling. Chatting, people watching, eating airport food, finding where we were supposed to go...It was fun! Not to mention the fact that I am usually travelling alone- so, it was fun to have somebody around for a change. Anyway- we got to Colorado and spent our first day bumming around the house and Greeley. Ben got to meet the puppies- Sadey (the black lab) and Blue (the malamute/husky). He also got to spend more time with relatives he had met previously (Mom, Dad, Caleb) and meet new ones (Jeremy, Grandma). Jeremy came in all excited because he just accepted a job offer after a long, difficult search for work. Caleb had been pretty sick lately, but was feeling a little bit better after having had a treatment over the weekend. Caleb, Ben and I spent the next day in the mountains. We went to the Stanley Hotel which is the hotel that The Shining was based off of. We enjoyed the tour- learning about history and hauntings along the way. We went as far up the mountains that we could for January. The next day was explore Greeley and Loveland day while I spent quality time with old friends and family. After that was Denver day- Ben and I saw a Van Gogh exhibit at the Denver Art Museum, as well as explored the rest of the museum. Our mutual love of art is something that really connects us. We could (and DID!) spend hours at the museum talking about various works and discussing what we admire about them. We gorged ourselves on BBQ near 16th Street Mall, spent some time in Cherry Creek Mall, and then had some yummy Mexican food for dinner with one of Ben's friends from college. The next day it was a snowy, blizzardy mess. So we spent the day lazing around Greeley. Dad had a great idea of going to the Model Train Museum which Ben LOVED. He later told me that it was his favorite part. The whole trip was awesome. I got to spend a lot of time with family. Ate lots of food at Grandma's and various yummy restaurants. We did a lot of fun things, yet we were not stressed out or too busy. We then left Colorado and spent the night in Chicago with Ben's mom again, watching a Green Bay Packer game. It was a fun and fantastic trip. And I was so happy to have an adventure buddy.

The rest of January was spent starting up After School again at Hawthorne, starting tutoring again, modeling, planning Culture Night, and applying for a second job. Not to mention stressing over money. (When am I NOT stressing over money?)

February came and it was cold and brutal and evil. I got really sick at the beginning of the month. A sickness I am still battling today. It was weird. I got sick, almost got completely over it, then got sick again, almost got completely over it, and then got sick again. I am finally starting to feel like I am getting over it again so....*fingers crossed* ....this BETTER be over now! I had a few interviews for jobs. It was nice, but stressful. I knew I needed another job, but it is hard when you have a regular job that is the priority. I dunno...

I helped a theatre acquaintance with a scene she needed to direct. I played one of the characters in the scene and she directed us and then asked for feedback on her directorial style. It was SO NICE to be able to break down a character, break down a scene again. I was sad it was only for one night. I was ready to memorize the whole play and put it into production! Being out of college has sucked a lot of life out of my artistic soul. I am dealing with it as best I can, but it is hard. I picked up my guitar again and am attempting at learning chords and songs and such. I am slow, but I am getting it.

Valentine's Day came and Ben and I didn't really do much. We hung out the weekend before, but the day of we were our normal 2 hours apart. So we dealt with it the best way we could- by watching a movie "together". We watched Finding Nemo and talked in the telephone the whole time. We made little comments or quoted the movie. It was fun and, actually, special because we did the same thing with The Princess Bride back when I was working in Tulsa for the summer just after we had met. That was a year and a half ago. So it was fun to do it again.

I remained busy- planning Culture Night, starting up with a new round of volunteers, and stressing about my Mid-Term Evaluation.Culture Night was a big undertaking. Luckily, I had help. But I feel like I didn't have ENOUGH help. I made phone calls begging and pleading for volunteers to serve food or be a room monitor. The phone call yielded results, but only little results. Out of probably almost 100 phone calls, I managed to get about 10 volunteers to help our after school staff and a few teachers. This may seem okay in theory, but in practice, we could have used another 10-20 volunteers to make things run smoothly. With food from around 15 places and over 15 performers and an expected attendance rate of 100-300 people, Culture Night got the most of me. The weekend before Culture Night, I decided to go to Stevens Point to see Ben. He had off that weekend. And since accepting a second job (Victoria's Secret!) that I would start in March, we weren't sure how often I would be able to make the trip up there anymore. So it was the final weekend before scheduling would get significantly tougher. So I traveled to Point on February 22. Spent the evening at Pete's, watching Ben DJ and hanging out with some of his friends and his cousin. What happened next? Pretty much anyone reading this is going to know...however, they won't know HOW. So...stay tuned for "Life In The Fast Lane: Part 2- The Engagement and Beyond." :)